Form is temporary. Class is forever

Cue dramatic music – builds to a crescendo!
Distinguished voice booms: “Last on the EPL…”

Chelsea were sitting pretty. The Citizens couldn’t buy a win. Manchester United were winning ugly with a showdown at the bridge looming. The Reds’ woes continued and the authorities were not happy about the London 2012 Olympics’ influence on the players, particularly the diving events (Cue advert).

They say football is a gentleman’s sport played by hooligans. Cantona’s famous kung-Fu kick; Zidane’s successful imitation of a bull at Matterrazzi’s expense; Vinnie Jones and the Crazy Gang; José Mourinho’s “restrained” celebrations; and then of course, the fans.

The modern game is played and followed by a passionate lot to say the least, so when the custodians of the game said they were going to clamp down on diving I sat up and paid attention. Was the world’s most beautiful game now moving towards its noble nature?? Diving or simulation is blatant cheating; it is when the player dupes the referee into awarding a free kick/ penalty when there has been no transgression. This usually involves flinging himself in the air or some other note worthy acting. Over the years this art form has reared its ugly head with the players bearing the brunt whilst no one looks at the real villains i.e. the administrators. Lately sport has realized the value of technology in improving the way sport is managed and officiated. Sports like rugby and cricket have embraced the technology giving the fans as close to a perfect game as they possibly can.

Strangely, football has refused to engage technology. Within seconds fans know whether a referee has made a wrong decision and yet they still have to bear the injustice. Wrong offside calls, dubious penalties, did the ball cross the line, is it a goal? All these questions and subsequent decisions that have been left to the frailty of the human eye. How pathetic it is that, bearing in mind the financial, emotional and social investment made by the fans and sponsors, the powers that be leave it all to chance. Maradonna’s hand of God, England’s Frank Lampard’s denied goal at the 2010 World Cup and more recently the Ukraine’s disallowed goal - all injustices that spectators could tell were wrong calls within minutes of being made, but that they were forced to live with.

Sport is competitive by nature and that’s what we love about it, so when a guy takes a dive that’s fine with me - he is well within with his right to do so. What is sad is when the authorities refuse to use the resources at their disposal to make the correct decision. The truth is that cheating takes root in the opportunity to exploit or abuse the situation. Modern technology has given us the capacity to look every player in the face and say “Dive if u dare, but when we catch you be ready to do the time!”.

So when the travesty that took place at Stanford bridge happened, with Manchester United being gifted 3 points by bad officiating, I couldn’t believe that the whole world watched and said “this is wrong” only to line ourselves up for the same mistake next time. How can we have world peace when we cannot even be accountable in sport?

Anyway in the EPL the evil patriarch marches on as Manchester United go to the top of the log, Chelsea are licking their wounds and one wonders if this set back will forge titans or give the blue boys a good excuse to sing the blues in particular a famous song titled “We wuz robbed”. Arsenal got the clock turned back to Roman times and felt what Julius Caesar felt when the not-so “noble Dutchman” twisted the knife in their back, reminding us that in this game loyalty has no place and money rules.

Liverpool continue to give their fans a lesson on how to lower your expectations and still get disappointed; yet somehow in all this gloom Suarez’s light is shining brighter than ever, giving Liverpool fans just enough of that deadly stuff - HOPE - to keep believing. Liverpool fans should be allocated high blood pressure pills upon joining the club! Everton continue to be the surprise package of the season with Fellaini pulling a Samson, maybe the power is in the hair. So as I look at the log it's getting familiar, and the old adage “form is temporary, class is forever” rings true. So let’s all count down to the weekend hoping for more epic encounters from our modern gladiators, knowing full well that we are at the mercy of human frailties or worse, Howard Webb!

Check out the log and let me know what your take on football and technology is.

True Soapies for Dudes

The Ewings, the Carringtons, the Giobertis and the Capwells, or more recognizably Dallas, Dynasty, Falcon Crest and the infamous Santa Barbara. There is a phrase known as “must-see TV” which describes riveting plots, an obscenely beautiful cast and loads of money. This combination always makes good TV. In recent times Prison Break, 24 and Desperate Housewives have had families glued to their TV sets week after week wondering what will happen next. Guys don’t usually fall for these badly written and unrealistic stories - they need a bit more to get hooked, but every year between the months of May and August I find myself sucked in.

My weekends are empty and pointless with my adrenaline rushes saved for ZESA bills and dodging in-law visits. It is upon further introspection that I realize during that time that I am an addict - like most men I can’t wait for the next installment of the English Premier League. I get giddy with excitement as the transfer rumor mill kicks off: “will Alex Ferguson retire? Will Ballotelli leave Man City? Will Arsene Wenger stop balancing the books? Is this Liverpool’s year? Will Abromovich buy back the title?”

Like all good soapies we have an evil patriarch refusing to go: Alex Ferguson. Whilst the young turks fuelled by the bottomless pit of oil money “Man City” have their own ideas. After about two months of the season as defending champions, despite their vast resources, they don’t look convincing. It’s as if something is missing. I, for the life of me, cannot figure out what it is, but sadly for them their opponents seem to know exactly what it is. Chelsea are a bit more comfortable with their wealth, riding high and at the moment they seem to have struck the right balance between fortune, ability and form, putting their noses in front in the title race. Perennial under achievers, Arsenal, are making more noise in financial magazines for their profits than explosions on the pitch. At one point one expects them to be in the Top Four only for them to sell their best players at the end of the season, posting healthy profits with no silverware to show for it.

Liverpool have had a difficult start and even its most ardent fans have to agree that it will be a difficult season and that they might have to keep quiet and watch ESPN’s glory days as their best years seem behind them. Sadly, the writer, being a Liverpool fan, has no choice but to begrudgingly accept the underdog tag and hope the script will end in the usual Hollywood manner with the underdog prevailing. So as the traditional giants fight for the throne, teams like Tottenham Hot Spurs and Everton are pushing for their place at the high table with blatant disregard of history. In simple terms these teams will not accept their place in life and want to move up at someone’s expense. On the other hand, Newcastle have lost it all. They once seemed determined to stay up and with Ba and Cisse buoyancy shouldn’t be an issue – in theory.

So as the season progresses with characters like “Brutus” Van Persie twisting the knife in the Gunners’ back and new heroes like Fellaini and Demba Ba coming to the fore, whilst the Gerrards and Rooneys try and remind us that it is the English Premier League despite the lack of Englishmen, it all makes for an entertaining and intriguing watch. In the end I can’t live without my weekly dose of the English Premier League.

The drama, the intrigue, the betrayals, the passion… Ahhh!! To hell with it this is soapies for dudes, and I’m hooked. For all those interested this is what the log looks like; let’s hope when I next talk to you it will have changed.

Quit Ye Like Men…

Life is hard. And whilst we all have our crosses to bear, there are those whose burdens seem lighter than others and there are those whose shoulders clearly stand no chance against what they have to carry.

For years I have believed that a man’s character is his fate and, come what may, good will prevail over evil, but of late my mantra has seemed inadequate. What kind of men are Wayne Rooney, Bill Clinton, Ronaldo? Are they going to get their dues or are they the 5% that make up the exception to the rule?

Being ever the pragmatic and optimistic one, I decided to carry out a social experiment where I would find the coolest oke from my Form One class and also find the prick of that class and see how they were doing. Obviously, coming up with the two candidates that met the criteria involved calling up a lot of old school mates, which unearthed new candidates. I finally settled on two chaps: a warm, popular, sporty and sincere chap who lit up the classroom by his presence,  and the other guy  a sulky fellow with the mannerisms of a spider and the hair to match. After settling on the two candidates it was with great sadness that I found out that the nice guy had passed away. He had fallen on hard times and there wasn’t anyone who had truly kept in touch with him and thus he was gone. As for Spiderman, he is a prominent banker with a local bank (explains the problems in the banking sector), seemingly doing well; a man about town.

So what does this mean? What were these men’s characters and is their fate true to their nature?  I am not sure. In a bid to make sense of it all I Google the Chivas Regal soliloquy  - Live With Chivalry - recite the speech and wonder if the bottle rather than the advert is the solution. As I leave I can’t help but slide back into my mantra: a man’s character is his fate. Or perhaps his fate determines his character? Either way, Carpe Diem – the present is a gift!

- Quit ye like men. Be strong!

Till next time in the words of Johnny Drama : vic-to-ry!

My weapon of mass instruction

My wife has been hounding me to blog and I've finally decided to give it a shot. Watch this space...