April 2013

Karl Marx described religion as the opium of the people, so when I see stadiums packed to capacity on Sunday afternoons, lives arranged around the EPL fixtures, the fanatical following modern football teams have, I am tempted to believe that the people have found a new opium.

When I left you last time Man United had the treble in sight; cohibas were being passed around in anticipation of good things to come. They say one should not revel in others’ misfortune but when you are a Liverpool fan and all you ever hear is “can you count past 18?” or detailed descriptions of being knocked off perches, watching it all crumble was sweet!! The Galacticos, led by the Special One and CR7, knocked the Red Devils out of the Champion’s League. The winner in all this of course was Castrol and hair product manufacturers worldwide. As a CR7 anti-fan, I don’t like watching young children play football as the only thing worse than watching Ronaldo do his thing is watching a child try to be like him. I guess in this instance the ends justify the means - I would have gelled his hair for him if it meant Man United being humbled! To put the icing on the cake Chelsea had me singing a famous nursery rhyme on Easter Monday: “bah bah black sheep have you any goal? Yes sir, Yes sir. Ask Fergie!”. Demba Ba’s fantastic strike bundled United out of the FA Cup making it two out of two for the writer: move over Tommy Smythe!

So as it stands Man United are 15 points clear with 8 games to go. The dominant force in the Premiere League looks set to prevail yet again. I haven’t given up but I suspect the Mancini – Nasri bust up, Tevez’s trouble with the law, and speculation on Toure’s future have put paid the project. I sadly will have to keep the light on until all hope is snuffed out - it is my duty as a true Scouser!

With the title seemingly decided teams are planning their next campaign. Chelsea, as predicted, will part ways with Benitez at the end of the season, and the latest rumor is that the “Special One” and Ambromovich will be reunited soon. If that happens CR7 could be donning the blue jersey and Stamford Bridge will be a must watch! As for Man City I suggest the sheiks get rid of Mancini. The Citizens’ implosion is inexplicable; talent, resources and opportunity should result in success. Instead the Citizens find themselves in that awkward position of not having failed, bearing in mind their history but knowing full well that they are their own enemies. They are standing in their own way, when instead, like in all arms races, you need to make the most of your head start. Ciao Roberto!

The Gunners’ future is bleak: when Theo Walcott becomes a senior player in your team things are really bad! With Champions League football seeming unlikely next season I am not sure what the club’s ambitions are besides financial security. Arsene Wenger will have to remind us that he built the Invincibles and hope that will be enough to keep the axe at bay after all. If Liverpool has lived in the past for 20 years, surely Wenger will be allowed another year?? We will have to wait and see.

Liverpool are 7 points from a Champions League spot. Suarez is firing on all cylinders and is my player of the year and should get the Golden Boot as well. Sadly the rest of the team hasn’t performed as well - Stevie G fights on but the truth is the Reds need about four more world class players if they are to mount a challenge next season. They will also have to work very hard to keep Suarez when the big boys open their wallets. With their Wall Street owners that will be hard. In their words it won’t be “good business”. The team of the season has to be Tottenham led by Mr. IncrediBale. AVB (I was wrong about him) and his boys have been irresistible; free flowing football and a driven work ethic have made Spurs a joy to watch. Unearthing new talent as they go along, they are in 3^rd place and, barring burnout, they should qualify for the Champions League and seek to mount a serious challenge for the Premiership next season.

Meanwhile in the battle for survival it would seem the writing is on the wall for Reading. The question is are they reading from the same script as everyone else? QPR and their magician are running out of time and the great escape is beginning to look like the great fall. To add insult to injury their huge wage bill hangs over their performance, shaking some faith in the power of money to get you out of any fix.

Aston Villa, Wigan and Sunderland find themselves fighting to avoid the last berth available for the drop with the black cats hiring Paolo Di Canio in a bid to re-energize their team. Di Canio will have to summon the great Il Duce and the Furhrer for the last 7 games to ensure survival.

Riveted to my couch as the season comes to the end I have only one question: who has been the best player in the league this season? Bale, Van Persie, Demba Ba, Suarez, Yaya Toure? Come on, chaps (and chicks) pick your player and tell me why.